The Enlarged Heart

    

Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

04 February 2024

 

First Reading: Jb 7:1-4, 6-7

Responsorial Psalm: Ps 147:1-2, 3-4, 5-6

Second Reading: 1 Cor 9:16-19, 22-23

Gospel: Mk 1:29-39

 

Reflection

By: Ma. Rosalina S. Flores

Last year, my annual physical examination x-ray result showed I have an enlarged heart. I was disturbed, I kept on thinking what went wrong, wishing that it was just a machine error.

To confirm the findings, the cardiologist advised me to have a treadmill test, 24-hour ambulatory blood pressure and holter monitorings, and 2D echo test. The earliest schedule for the abovementioned tests is a month and a half later after my doctor's consultation, to which I dared to avail.

Day after day while waiting for my tests schedule, I was anxious about the possibilities. What if the tests confirm the diagnosis? I am too young at 33 years old to have a heart problem. Apart from that, I just recently recovered from bell's palsy, and now, another health issue is knocking on the door. Oh Lord, if this is what you call favoritism, please don't make me an apple of your eye.

Like Job in the First Reading, I was restless, I was looking for answers in prayer. Until one night, while contemplating, God made me realized to again surrender myself to Him, the same way I entrusted my bell's palsy healing journey in 2022. And if this heart condition when confirmed, will be a way to unify myself to Jesus' suffering on the Cross to save me, to save us, then I will gladly suffer as my simple share for the reparation of sins.

From that night on as I surrendered my life and future to the Lord, waiting for the schedule of my heart tests and results became bearable. Of course, I still have fear but I know Jesus will never abandon me. I also learned to counter my negative thoughts with the affirmation that maybe God is enlarging my heart to be able to accept His love and be capable of loving others more. A smaller heart cannot contain the overwhelming love of God for me so I needed a bigger one.

The day has come and I have undergone the required medical tests. Thanks be to God, the results are normal! I do not have an enlarged heart. God touched my heart and I rediscovered Him.

We all have our own life's challenges and sufferings that made us lament to God day and night, similar with the experiences of Job and those sick and possessed by demons in today's Gospel. But may these life's challenges and struggles lead us closer to God, the source of healing and all blessings. May we also learn to thank God for our sufferings as we rediscover our faith and trust in Him especially during the lowest points of our lives.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the blessing and suffering. Help us to always acknowledge Your presence may it be in good or in bad times. Make us also living testimonies of Your love and bearers of Your light. Amen.