Reverse Self-Righteousness?

First Reading: Sirach 35:12-14, 16-18

Do not offer him a bribe, for he will not accept it; and do not trust to an unrighteous sacrifice; for the Lord is the judge, and with him is no partiality. He will not show partiality in the case of a poor man; and he will listen to the prayer of one who is wronged. He will not ignore the supplication of the fatherless, nor the widow when she pours out her story. He whose service is pleasing to the Lord will be accepted, and his prayer will reach to the clouds. The prayer of the humble pierces the clouds, and he will not be consoled until it reaches the Lord; he will not desist until the Most High visits him, and does justice for the righteous, and executes judgment. And the Lord will not delay, neither will he be patient with them, till he crushes the loins of the unmerciful and repays vengeance on the nations; till he takes away the multitude of the insolent, and breaks the scepters of the unrighteous;

Psalm: Psalm 34:2-3, 17-19, 23

Second Reading: 2 Timothy 4:6-8, 16-18

For I am already on the point of being sacrificed; the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. At my first defense no one took my part; all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength to proclaim the message fully, that all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil and save me for his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Gospel: Luke 18:9-14

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, `God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, `God, be merciful to me a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Reflection
By Gharri Tulabut

One of the few things that stopped me in the past from accepting and pursuing higher responsibilities in my charismatic community is the thought that my past misdeeds made me unworthy to become a servant of God.

Yes I know that for every saint, there is a past and for every sinner, there is a future as they say. I was also aware that the Church is for the sinners, that doctors are for the sick (primarily).

Still I feared that if people who knew me in the past would see me, let’s say, leading a worship or delivering a talk, they might say “I know this person. How dare he speak and act like that? Don’t we know how sinful this person is?” It’s not even about me. I am more worried that it will have a negative effect to the reputation of my community and, especially, of the Church.

But that was before I got hold of an old issue of Kerygma magazine which had on the second page what seems to be a list of the qualifications of the then leaders of the Light of Jesus community. Their leader was a former porn addict. One of them had many girlfriends despite being married. Another was a former hit man of a fraternity. And the list goes on.

The first thing that came to my mind as I read that page was “Wow, I belong here. Pwede pala!”

So I joined this community and I am glad that they really seek those who are going the wrong way. They accept whatever you are, not judge you but just accept you and make friends with you with the hope that you yourself, with help of God, would realize how to change for the right direction.

So now I am thinking that I might be able to use my (not really very) dark past to be an example for others that there is hope to change. That God loves us no matter what mistakes we had. And that there are people who do not look at our past and are willing to be our friends and to be associated with “sinners” like me.

I really want to make myself as an example for those who are currently spiritually lost. But I still could not do that. Not until I get the proper training or mentoring to do it. Because I am afraid I would become what I would call as a reverse self-righteous person. I might be boasting already of my previous sins to the point that I might be delivering a wrong message.

What if I let people know that I was chain smoker before but now I already quit (just an example). What if they say, “We’ll just follow your way. We’ll just quit later just like you did.”

Or what if I confess that I engaged in sexual immorality in the past (again, just an example). I might send the wrong message that it’s okay to enjoy these worldly things first and just change later.

Until I am confident enough to tell my next of kin about my previous sins, I’ll just keep my mouth shut in public for now. But maybe to help individuals who are already in those situations, with the guidance from the Holy Spirit, I will help by using myself as an example.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for loving us unconditionally. May we always do the same and not be judgmental  to our brethren no matter what their past mistakes are so that we will lead them to You and not the other way around. Teach us Lord not to be self-righteous when we speak. And may our works glorify You always. Amen!