The Night Was Long, But Love Stayed Awake

   

Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

13 April 2025

 

First Reading: Isaiah 50:4-7

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 22:8-9, 17-18, 19-20, 23-24

Second Reading: Philippians 2:6-11

Gospel: Luke 23:1-49

 

Reflection

By: Theresa B. Manio

 

There was a time in my life when the nights felt impossibly long—like time stood still, and I was stuck inside a silence that echoed too loudly. I remember lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling a kind of ache that words couldn’t hold. During the day, everything seemed normal. I was functioning, productive, even smiling. But when the world went quiet, the shadows came back. I felt like I was living a double life—guilt creeping in for pretending I was okay when, deep down, I wasn’t.

PTSD had wrapped itself around me like a heavy fog. I couldn’t find a way out. I hurt in ways no one could see. Sometimes, I hurt myself—just trying to feel something, or maybe to match the chaos inside. I didn’t understand why I was going through it. I felt broken. Ashamed. Alone.

And then I read again the story of Jesus’ own darkest night. In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus is betrayed, abandoned by His closest friends, mocked, beaten, and condemned for a crime He didn’t commit. In the garden, He falls to the ground and prays, overwhelmed to the point of sweating blood. But He stays. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t numb the pain. He doesn’t give in to despair. He simply whispers, “Not my will, but Yours be done,” and walks into the suffering with open eyes and a wide-open heart.

My pain might not compare to His—but in His story, I saw mine. Not dismissed, not minimized—understood.

For a long time, I wondered why God allowed everything that happened to me. Why didn’t He stop the pain or fix me right away? But as I sat with this Gospel, I started to realize: Sometimes, God doesn’t take the suffering away. Sometimes, He joins us in it. Sometimes, He stays up with us through the long nights, just to let us know we’re not alone.

I was 20 when I attended a retreat that changed everything. I remember finally speaking my truth in confession—my wounds, my sins, my fears—and I’ll never forget what the priest gently said: “Jesus was with you. He sees your suffering. He was there. He just couldn’t make it stop, because He can’t control people’s actions.”

That moment broke something open in me. I hadn’t realized it before, but Jesus was with me. In every tear. In every silent scream. Every night I thought I wouldn't survive. He never turned away. He stayed.

And now—on the other side of that long, dark night—I see something I didn’t recognize before. The wounds didn’t destroy me. They deepened me. They gave me a heart that can recognize pain in others and sit with them in it. Because I’ve been there. Because I know what it’s like. And because Jesus stayed with me, I now have the strength to stay with someone else.

That’s what the cross does. It doesn’t erase our pain. But it transforms it. It turns our deepest wounds into bridges of compassion. It turns our brokenness into love.

I don’t have all the answers. But I know this: No matter how long the night is—Love stays awake. Love keeps watch. Love whispers, “You are not alone.”

If you’re reading this and you're hurting, please hold on. You are seen. You are loved. And you are not alone in your pain. Jesus is with you—and so are many others who’ve walked through the fire and are still here, reaching back to walk with you. Look at Jesus on the cross. You’re still here. And that means hope is, too.

Prayer

Jesus, stay with me in the silence, in the heaviness, in the nights that feel too long. Remind me that even in my deepest pain, I am never alone because You stayed awake for love. I will wait with You in the darkness, trusting that just as You rose, Your light will rise in me too. Amen.

We were on a Break

    

First Sunday of Advent

03 December 2023

 

First Reading: Is 63:16B-17, 19B; 64:2-7

Responsorial Psalm: Ps 80:2-3, 15-16, 18-19

Second Reading: 1 Cor 1:3-9

Gospel: Mk 13:33-37

 

Reflection

By: Bernard M. Borja

 

Some TV shows have an impact in such a way that even part of a dialogue or script can make a core memory in a viewer’s heart and mind. It can be carried on to the next generation of viewers where it continues to be talked about and even debated. Perhaps one of the most famous examples of these is the 90’s TV show Friends. The famous dialogue, “We were on a break!” was from the character Ross addressing his love interest Rachel. For some context and for those who aren’t familiar with the show, Ross and Rachel were a dating couple. Their complicated feelings and desire for each other developed in the first two seasons of the show. Fast forward to the third season when they were about to celebrate their anniversary. Rachel’s job took away most of their time together, Ross became jealous of Rachel’s boss, then they had a huge fight that ended with “we should take a break”. That “break” would go on to mean differently to both, which lead to Ross getting drunk and sleeping with another woman on that same night. The reasoning of Ross “We were on a break!” would go on until the last season of the show.

Disclaimer: the recap was a very short detailing just for the context (for the fans, please don’t bash me). There are many factors other than job, time, or relationship with other people, that affect how people deal with relationships. Some may say that if Ross truly loves Rachel, he will understand the amount of time that her job takes. Others may also say that Rachel should have assured Ross and distanced herself from her boss.  But if we really think about it, were they mindful of each other often? And if we also ask ourselves, how are we being mindful of our loved ones when they are not around?

Jesus said to his disciples, “Be watchful! Be alert!” He instructed them of the need for watchfulness by also saying, “May he (the master) not come suddenly and find you sleeping.” What if the master caught a servant, whom he placed in charge, sleeping and failed to watch his coming? Will saying, “I was on a break.” excuse him from being watchful? What if the gatekeepers “took on a break” and failed to open the gate when the master returned? Are they still considered mindful of their master when he’s not around?

One of the verses in the first reading that struck me were, “Would that you might meet us doing right, that we might be mindful of you in our ways!” During the day, I do my best to make the house clean and orderly so that when my wife comes back home, she won’t have to worry about doing most chores (though she still redoes the cleaning sometimes). A small gesture of “I got this.” and doing what needs to be done so that our loved ones won’t have to worry about it, is being mindful of them.

Being mindful of Jesus’ ways should remind us to grow more like Him. That even in non-convenient situations or standing up for what is right should not make us bail from Him. When we stand up for justice which Jesus fought for, we should not “take a break” by being silent. When we witness oppression and cruelty, we should not put exceptions on who to be compassionate with. If one can say that he or she found Jesus in the church, surely, he or she can bring Jesus to wherever he or she goes. How would Jesus feel if I go someplace and do something that offends Him, and then say to Him when I go back to church, “We were on a break”? Jesus has ever been mindful of all of us, and He does not take a break in it. Saint Paul said, “In Him you were enriched in every way… so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We are being continually equipped as servants and gatekeepers to be watchful. May we remind ourselves always to be mindful of Jesus so we can remain vigilant in our ways.

We also remember Saint Francis Xavier (whose feast day is December 3), one of the greatest Roman Catholic missionaries of modern times who was instrumental in the establishment of Christianity in India, the Malay Archipelago, and Japan. His legacy involves that he always provided for the continuing pastoral care of the communities he founded and did not abandon them after baptism. The areas he evangelized in India have remained Catholic to the present day.

Prayer

Dear Father in heaven, our Lord and forever Redeemer, we thank You for keeping us in Your ways and letting us turn to You in our difficult times. May we always remind ourselves of the good deeds that we ought to do as we wait for the coming of your Son, Jesus Christ. Teach us to be mindful to prepare ourselves and look forward to celebrating the Christmas season with grateful hearts. We pray with our dear Mother Mary, whom you have chosen for Your Son and be our inspiration in being mindful of Your ways, Amen.