Go into the Deep

 Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

06 February 2022

 

First Reading: IS 6:1-2a, 3-8

Responsorial Psalm: PS 138:1-2, 2-3, 4-5, 7-8

Second Reading: 1 COR 15:1-11

Gospel: LK 5:1-11

 

Reflection

By: Sem. Carlo Alexis R. Malaluan

 

I love walking through labyrinths. The first time I walked through a labyrinth was over five years ago when I was invited for a personal retreat in Tagaytay. I was drawn to the slow pace to which the pathway lends itself and to long rests sitting in the center praying. As you go along the path, deeper realizations and reflections would arise. Sometimes, the path could be too confusing or overwhelming but a labyrinth is a spiritual encounter - an invitation to journey to the very center of our hearts where God awaits.

This is the very invitation of Christ to the fishermen of Galilee - put into the deep! I could imagine the reactions of these skilled men upon hearing the instruction of the Lord. Of course, they have mastered the sea. It has been their life. They could tell whether or not they could catch fishes. But Christ was insistent - duc in altum! Most of the time, we have thought that we already mastered our own seas - our lives, our relationships, our work, our priorities, our dreams and desires. We thought we knew the deepest recesses of our hearts only to find out that we have been casting our nets on the wrong side of the sea. We have been overly familiar with the world we create for ourselves thus we end up being frustrated and lonely because it is not our reality. But Christ sees us through. Christ looks tenderly on the things we fail or choose not to look at. Time and time, He invites us to go deeper - to put ourselves into the depths of our being and to see our own reality, our own brokenness and woundedness.

In the Camaldolese Constitutions, there is a passage that I like very much. It reads: "We are frequently cast out from our hearts as the sea casts out a dead body." We don't like going into the deep. We go into our hearts and are pushed out. We cannot take it. We cannot stay. We cannot be still because we know that the depth of our being and the silence of our hearts reveals only one reality - that we are broken. And that truth is very uncomfortable. However, it is liberating one - an intimate moment of spiritual breakthrough. This is the same experience of the people of God. Isaiah admits that he is a doomed man with sinful lips and Paul tells that he is not worthy to be called as an apostle. And with Peter we could only say with great humility - "Depart from me, Lord, for I am sinful man."

When we are able to enter into the depth of our hearts and accept the reality of our being - conversion begins. When Isaiah acknowledges his sinful lips, God gave him the faculty to proclaim His message to His people. When Paul and Peter admitted their unworthiness, they were given grace to become witnesses for Christ. Christ already knew how deep our seas were. Christ already knew the unexplored depths of our hearts yet Christ invites us to immerse ourselves in the reality of our lives no matter how shameful, how ridiculous and wounded they are.

When we are able to go into the depth of our hearts - we will only find one thing: the love of Christ that loves us even in the darkest deepest reality of our lives.

Prayer

Lord, You know my heart and my whole being more than I do. I offer You the entirety of my being most especially the parts where it is painful or shameful for me to look at. Grant me the grace to journey into the deepest parts of my soul ever consoled that I would find Your unchanging love in the brokenness of my heart. Amen.